Motherhood comes in all shapes, forms and sizes. I am not referring to the number on the scale but the way we play our roles.

I am fortunate to have found the perfect fit for myself.

I work part-time. I do this for my family and for my own well-being.

I haven't always worked. I was a stay-at-home mom for three years.

I would not trade those years at home for anything, but they were also the darkest years of my life emotionally.

I had always thought I would be a stay-at-home mom forever, perhaps returning to work when my youngest started school. That all changed when I had kids.

I am a social butterfly. I am energized when I am around people. I quickly learned that “people” did not include my sweet babies, who sucked out all my charge. Literally.
They were cute. They were sweet. But they didn't talk in complete sentences about the book we just read. They couldn't debate with me on the latest political hot topic. They were just fun and crazy kids.

After my second son was born, my husband had the opportunity to realize his dream of country living. I quickly learned that I needed more than his dreams and this farm to sustain me through this phase of my life.

I loved my boys, but I needed more adult social interaction than waving at the mailman as he dropped off the mail. I was so desperate I would look forward to answering the telemarketing phone calls.

I know that when women stay home it isn't because they are rich but because they make sacrifices. For us, money was so tight that I couldn't drive to town to have lunch with someone, much less join civic groups, gyms or other places to create relationships with other moms. We were so far out in the country we didn't even have high-speed Internet for the first two years. I was on a relational island with only "PBS Kids" and toddlers to keep me company.

I knew something needed to change when I started daydreaming about getting in my car and just driving away, leaving all my boys behind. I had even begun to wonder why anyone would ever fight for custody of their kids.

That's horrible, I know. But I told you those were the darkest days of my life.
I know all the good moms out there are completely appalled that a mother can feel this way.

I felt like such a disappointment. I had believed that “good” moms stayed at home, sacrificing career and creature comforts for their kids. I had failed at my own version of motherhood.

But I finally had to admit that I was miserable. And that was no way to be a mom, even if it was a stay-at-home mom.

That's when I had the opportunity to return to work three days a week.

My job saved my life. My outlook on life changed. I learned to value my kids. My children now get to enjoy a more well-balanced mother and, in turn, a more pleasant household and childhood.

Because I work, we can now afford things like zoo passes and day trips with the kids that I could not have done had I continued to stay home. I can now take the kids to town without breaking the bank. We are by no means wealthy, but now we have a little wiggle room in the checkbook.

Sure, there are things I miss about staying home with my kids, but I know that I am a better mom on Monday and Wednesday because I am away on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.

I no longer daydream about leaving. I would fight for custody. I love my family. I am content.

Luckily, I found the right fit for myself. My hope is that other moms can find that right place for themselves, whether it be at home, at work or somewhere in-between.

Judy Daniell is married with three boys. She works part-time. Her blogs appear every Wednesday on momaha.com.