A mom at last week's book club made an interesting statement, one I haven't been able to shake.

Her goal, she said, is to let her children be themselves; not what she wants them to be.

My initial response was, “Well, duh!” Isn't that what we all want for our children – the comfort to be exactly who they are and explore the things that are important and worthwhile to them?

Parenting with this goal in mind seems easy. But as life has demonstrated over and again, my plans for perfection are well laid, but my execution is poor at best.

A couple of years ago, we enrolled Adley in a ballet and tap class. I was excited to put a little black leotard, pink tights and ballet slippers on my munchkin. I had such great memories of dancing, I was sure she would love it, too. I told her we were going somewhere after preschool and that she would be so excited!

When we pulled into the parking lot and she saw the dance sign, Adley burst into tears. That wasn't the reaction I was hoping for. It turns out, she was sure the surprise was a trip to Disney World.

She decided (with some heavy convincing) that she would give dance a shot. I stayed and watched through the little window for the first three weeks of class. I found myself doing each move (subtly so as not to be looked at as a weirdo by the other moms) – proud that I still had it. At night, I would have Adley practice her moves and I would try to teach her something new and more advanced. She resisted at each turn.

Then it went too far.

Adley did not enjoy dance class and refused to participate. The teacher recommended I sit in the studio rather than in the hall. I watched and nudged her along with encouraging looks. When Adley refused to do the splits I was ready.

“Look, Adley,” I said gleefully. “Mommy can do it!”

With that, I swiftly fell to the floor in a position I haven't been in since I was a young teenager. I plastered a smile on my face to hide the shooting pain.

As I limped into the house that night, I realized I had let my ego get the best of me. Adley wasn't dancing because she loved it. She was dancing because I danced as a little girl and wanted my daughter to do the same. Week after week, I took her back, ignoring her protests.

As a mom, my job is to guide my daughter and help facilitate her interests. I had my shot at glory, and as disappointing as it is that I never became a Shirley Temple or Mary Lou Retton, I have to come to terms with the fact that my daughter will never be them either.

Adley has a flair for dramatics and comedy, and who knows, maybe she’ll be an Audrey Hepburn or a Tina Fey some day. Maybe she won’t. Regardless of her interests or how they may change over the years, my new mission is to help direct her to become exactly who she wants to be.

I only hope who she wants to be is Adley.

Cat Koehler is married with two children. She works full-time. Read her blogs on momaha.com every Monday.